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sad_little_silly
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Name: Jane (opie)
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Birthday: 3/6/1990
Gender: Female


Interests: fairy tales, digital art, music (gothic, industrial, EBM, electronica, techno, synth, cyber, goth rock, renaissance, elizebethan, baroque, visual kei, whatever David Bowie is), english language, german language, poetry, Herman Hesse, Brian Froud, and the noises that keep me from falling asleep at night. I think my closet is upset about something.
Expertise: uhh... here's a list of a few of my favorite words, since I'm not very good at anything: Antediluvian, Belligerant, Criteria, Decrepid, Enertia, Fraudulent, Gauche, Helium, Introverted, Just(ice), Kinetic, Legible, Mazard, Naught, Opalescent, Quaint, Retrospective, Spine, Turbulent, Undermine, Victorious, Wield, Xylem, Zealus. This is just taking up space. Maybe that should be my expertise...


Message: message me
AIM: flitterbat13


Member Since: 5/15/2005

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

hey, ok, it's x_carcinojane_x see you guys later..


time and time again I get bored with my xanga... and my sn kinda sucks, so my new xanga will be "carcinojane"... 'caus a carcinagen is a cancer causing agent and stuff... well I thought it was cool. Too much haujob music for me...


Saturday, October 15, 2005

From Greeny's xanga...

 

1. who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?

5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Are you going to put this on your Xanga and see what I say about you?


hey.. this is the shortstory I wrote.. it's one of my gazzilion homeworks this weekend :p anyway, I know it just sounds like it's about Christian ethics, but I just wrote it that way because that's what I beleive in... anyway, it's supposed to be about how there are so many things everydy that we are sort of forced into doing with school, work, basically surviving that we probably don't beleive in. It's kinda cruddy, but whatever. I know it's kina bleak because it doesn't really say there's anything to to about it, but sometimes that's the way life feels.

*******************************************************

Angelo Luca Michael Tataglia typed apathetically, wondering what the purpose was of typing the firm’s ancient files into new files on the computer. He jolted upright as Mr.Mund dropped a heavy set of new files onto his desk. Mr.Mund never did anything thing by himself unless he had self promoting or sadistically pleasing reason to do it. Angelo wondered if he would even find a reason to fight for his job that suffocated him if Mund would try to fire him. Angelo couldn’t imagine how he had startled him so, considering how corpulent he was and the intention he had in his strides.

"Good afternoon, sir…. I think," Angelo nodded politely and searched for a clock.

Mr.Mund eyed him in a way which Angelo hoped was not suspicious, even though he had done nothing wrong.

"What’re you afraid of, boy?" He asked maliciously.

"I’m note sure what you mean, sir," Angelo responded as he remembered his elderly parents who depended on him.

"What scares you?" Angelo was slightly reassured that Mr.Mund was not directly threatening him. "Personally, I’m not a fan of wasted time or money… my firm… the fear of losing it, anyway. Not afraid, but I’m no fan of sick people weighing everyone down."

Angelo wondered what he thought was wasted money, as Mund was notorious for his expensive, albeit tasteless, eccentricities.

"Tataglia!" He pronounced the silent ‘g’, "What scares you?"

"Evil, sir," he said as he hid a sketch of St. Michael, the Archangel into his pocket, out of fear that he would be accused of laziness.

Mund chortled, his face turned red with the effort of emotion. He lumbered off, blatantly amused by Angelo’s answer.

It was already dark when Angelo returned to his small apartment. The road had been covered in slush and the sidewalks were slippery with ice, but he didn’t mind because it had made the traffic lights and illuminated windows all the more reassuring.

His father was asleep in a chair when he opened the door. Even though he was nearly bald, his remaining hair was still black like Angelo’s, which was short and thick. His mother was probably asleep on the only bed in the apartment, as she rarely had the strength to leave it. He ate a quick meal of bread and cheese, and began to draw.

Angelo had never considered art as a profession because it was impractical, giving his current situation. His family had owned a small store until the economy went sour, and Angelo had to take care of his aging parents. His job at the firm was the best job he could find, having little education outside of highschool.

He loved the fluidity of his pencils, the way the felt scratchy and smooth at the same time against the paper. The sound was soothing and calmed his nerves, but he couldn’t get rid of his thoughts from work. He decided to draw Mund as a pleasant, decent person, but it proved to be impossible.

"Why is my job like a battle? Why do I feel like some enemy agent around my coworkers that Mund favors?"

The next day, Angelo was assigned to be a makeshift messenger, as Gabriel was sick at home. Gabe was the only person in The Firm who Angelo would consider a friend, and he always seemed to be fighting off sickness.

Sighing gently he took a package down the long hallway of sterile grey walls, up the stairs, which were only a slightly darker grey, and into Chastity’s office, which was decorated in bright reds. Angelo was always depressed by Chastity, because she certainly didn’t live up to the connotations of her name. She was very fond short skirts, low cut tops, and, apparently, Mr.Mund. He quickly put the package on her desk and hoped she hadn’t noticed him as she continued facing the wall, filing. Filing her nails, anyway. He quietly and quickly left the office.

"What’re you doin’? It isn’t you lunch break yet," Mund’s outburst made Angelo falter and nearly fall down the flight of stairs.

"I’m sorry, sir, I was filling in for Gabe today…"

"Gabe… right. O’grady, that one, I think. I’m gonna let him go. Not a ‘team player’, you know?"

"You can’t do that! He does his work well enough, doesn’t he? Being social isn’t part of the job description..."

Mund had a foreboding way of looking at a person, making one reconsider their words the moment they are formed. He was holding a manila folder, the sight of which made Angelo’s blood run cold. He had hidden his sketches from his lunch hours (twenty minutes in reality) and the spare moments when he wasn’t being monitored by the other workers in the building. He wondered how he had come across them? They were locked inside the filing cabinet, and noone had a use of the archaic documents in Angelo’s office.

"I wouldn’t be worry about him right now."

"Mr.Mund, I’ll work twice as hard, just don’t fire m…"

"I want you to work on advertising."

Angelo was taken aback. His mind reeled. Secretly he thought of Mund as cruel and immoral man, evil even, and his art was his sanctuary. Would he be able to draw for him when he could barely stand to draw him? Would his artwork become tainted? A sanctuary is only a sanctuary when it is set aside for its specific use, and he feared he would lose one of the few things he enjoyed to the grips of Mund’s greed.

"I figure it’s cheaper to pay you for your regular position and have you advertise for us than to hire someone professional. You don’t seem to be very productive otherwise and I’m inclined fire you right now."

"Yes, sir," something was crying out in pain deep inside Angelo, and he could only block out the sorrowful shrieks.

For the next few weeks Angelo tried and tried again to fit Mund’s expectations of his work. Each time they could not agree on what should be done. It could be seen as artistic differences, but that would be giving Mund far too much credit.

"Come on, Tataglia, sex sells!"

"I’m not entirely sure what you want, sir," he said thickly, his eyelids heavy for sleep. He knew what Mund wanted. He would simply refuse to deliver. He would fight. War would be declared, and they were both prepared for battle.

" I won’t do it."

"What you say, boy? I think you’d best rethink whatever the Hell is going through your head. Draw something, and get it done quickly."

"Of course, sir, I just meant I didn’t like that particular idea." He had retreated. How could he have been such a coward? He had to do something. How could he support his elderly parents without submitting to Mund’s demands? He could find another job. He could find another job. He could...

Chastity waltzed into the room, pouting about something. A revolting smile crawled across Mund’s visage. His eyes seemed smaller and his expression more twisted than usual.

"Mr.Mund, why does Catherine get the good parking space?"

Angelo sighed in disgust. No one seemed to notice. No one ever seemed to notice the things that depressed him. No one noticed the cruelty because everyone was used to it, which just made it worse.

"I can’t fight you now. I can’t fight you while I’m still breathing." Angelo took off with heavy strides. I can’t fight him because he doesn’t realize he must fight the evil within him.

T3l-l 3/l/D


Friday, October 14, 2005

Currently Watching
Night of the Living Dead
By George A. Romero, Duane Jones
see related

Skinny Puppy is a crazy cool band... emphasis on crazy. Check this out (two o' my favorite songs)

"Warlock"

 binge cringe on the fringe sloppy mincing eyedropping biopsy cyclops overlooks
optic options rotton showstopper skinpopper babbler dabbler
self confessed criminal tore pen in vain instant still spellbound game
stock talk back rock reencounter incident subsistance inexistant
non committed unwitted oblivious habitual resistor buff the stuff roughed
up edge fluent nudge pre-collect ignition motivation inexistant wasted
views thats all they see blue hot blood guild optic nerve with the right attitude
you will succed blue self abusive recluse too late for me make
shifting peace settling crazy things keep your eyes open soft spoken
changes nothing a view so cruel dogs body comatose torchlight roast
disinterest disinfect retold impressed by possession insiders know
refresh detained contest off and pure sure tonight it feeds itself
freeze in time or shadows climb distracting override instincts
evolve and try over and over wasted truth why call at all blue hot lines
eventual decline with the right attitude you will succed blue resent
that discontent sidestep define the state of things so far crazy
things a view so cruel

And "Assimalate"

oil remove shred and tear radiation vapor
it's the fear so unclear man in motion going nowhere
in our homes stuck in the face spread the word to the populace
yellow journal yellow journal set the pace feel the rage
manifestations of a sort so insidious off the point
simple solution never confusion sport a gun kill a cop
crazy world of weary thought so receive me had enough
lock me up lock me up
rot and assimilate so hot to annihilate
deviation tonic mess prolonged existence innocence
is he who speaks isn't weak wheelchair virtue so to speak
bubonic plague the truth of aids immunity avoid decay
in the trench of pestilence the bible screams announce your faith
mutterings of death to bring suffocate a newborn thing
degradation of an age venereal it's all sensation
protect design the moral plan infallible as propaganda
completely black with no steps back
hot to assimilate we'll rot or annihilate
agony profusely stains the inner thinking of the brain
accusations clanking chains experiments with the groans of pain
all prefer no one blames the terror in an animal's screams
in cages our future - the answers insane

     Anyway, see you guys at hoecoming and such. I also made the new backround today... The pic in the back is a buch of Chinese communist cops... If you've never read 1984, you should check it out. Has anyone else noticed that Goerge Orwell's writing got more and more cynical with every book he had written?

-Opie

 



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